"I’m not going to be the girl you marry, but I’ll be the girl you’ll be thinking of 20 years from now while you engage in polite sex with your boring wife who fakes her orgasm to make you feel better about your receding hairline."
e.b. (via angelicpanic)

anxious-children:

methlaboratories:

CAN I GET A HELL YEAH IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING WITH YOUR LIFE AND YOU DON’T GET ENOUGH SLEEP

HELL YEAH

ellimist:

AT DINNER MY PARENTS WERE TALKINBG ABOUT MY FUTURE WIFE AND LIKE TELLING ME STORIES THEY WERE GOING TO TELL HER AND I COULDNT STOP LAUGHING AND THEY THOUGHT THEY WERE SO FUNNY BUT I WAS ACTUALLY LAUGHING because im gay as hell

starktrekenterprise:

zillyh00:

slidingtuna:

zillyh00:

zillyh00:

I ACCIDENTALLY PUT A KNIFE IN WITH MY LAUNDRY

image

Those clothes will make you look ripped

LEAVE

cutting edge fashion

eileenthequeen:

tzippyfliesby:

To clarify, these antisemitic shootings took place in Kansas City, so if you live in Kansas City and haven’t heard about this, DO NOT go to the JCC.  Everything is still on lockdown and honestly, I would avoid going to my synagogue if at all possible, too.  They don’t know how many shooters are involved and if the Js were the only targets.

This is scary shit. Please stay safe guys. 

Next time you get a “tumblr/facebook questionnaire” asking you to work out your porn star name or something, remember this…

heydiddlehiddleston:

badwolfbutch:

butchboiblues:

semperfrosty:

Your mother’s maiden name, the name of your first pet, your birthday and the first street you grew up on are usually the same fields used for password security reset questions

Stay Frosty

Fuck y’all. Good looking out

oh my god

image

505

If dudes are expected to have a lot of sex

But ladies are expected to stay virgins until marriage

But homosexuality is bad

I’m really confused who dudes are supposed to be having all that sex with

follovver:

people who dont wet their toothbrush before using it are strange and should not be trusted

frozendailydose:

piratelyssa:

timmywestside:

danbgruchy:

no you guys don’t understand somebody took troy in hsm2 and made a let it go parody and it fits oh my g od

It took me less than 30 seconds to decide to hit that reblog button.

this is the most perfect thing i’ve seen today

You’ll thank me later

rollinginthepeep:

i dont know what i expected when i googled “hideous nipple” but it wasn’t this.